Who Qualifies?

You have probably noticed you have alot of people in your world. And, with all of those people, you have roles and responsibilities to go along with them. Take a few moments to write down the names of those people who are most consistently present in your life.

Now that you have a little more clarity, who chooses how your life is going to go? How is all going to fit together? It is your life. You are writing your story. So, who is going to be holding the pen? I think it is more important than you may know.

To begin with, you are purposed in this life. You have been placed here for a reason. Every day you have a distinctive part to play. With that in mind, no one qualifies to create your life but you. I personally believe the only one who qualifies but you is the God who created you. Begin with Him. Listen. Stay aware of His lead.

The alternative is to play the victim. Let someone else choose and you will always have someone to blame. Unfortunately, victim's aren't highly valued in this life. They are pitied. They are looked upon as the unfortunate. Who wants to live that way, on purpose?

The reality is yours. You choose how your story will be written. God has great intentions for what He has created. Others don't qualify. They aren't responsible for your choices. You are. Celebrate it. Do well, my friends.

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What Are You Thinking?

How consciously do you prepare for living each day? How prepared are you for dealing with things in life that typically provoke anger in you? How about the people and situations that frustrate and create stress in you? Stress and anger are created from the inside, out. What you think about any given thing will define how you manage it. Will you react or respond? Will emotion or reason play the biggest part in those times? Those questions will be answered by what is going on in your heart and in your mind.

The ancient Greeks thought of the mind as the seat of both your intellect and your emotion. It really is the working relationship between these two forces that create peace or stress. Most of what creates anger and stress in your life flows from what you fear. Fear is the culprit most of the time. Fear, however, is defined by you. Your thoughts establish your context. The key is to anticipate and prepare for the life contexts you most often experience. Staying philosophically fit is your challenge.

Reading is nourishment for your mind. What you listen to and what you watch creates so much of what goes on in your mind.

What do you think about rejection for example? If your thoughts define rejection as being failure, you will probably avoid anything where rejection is possible. What if, however, you see rejection as opportunity to create possibility? What if you regard it as a qualifying moment? No failure just opportunity. What you think makes all of the difference in the world.

My encouragement for you is to prepare for the life you are about to live. What are your narratives? Are you afraid? Are you discouraged? Are you stressed? Get behind what you feel and find the thoughts that are defeating you. Rethink life. Read, listen, and be exposed to things that support and encourage you. What are you thinking? You choose. Do well, my friends!

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Success Defined

Success is clearly a personal concept. Its definition is as diverse as the human population. There is, however, one dynamic found in any definition of success you might encounter: the recognition and conveyance of value. Someone creates and communicates value in which someone else is willing to invest. When a person represents value and that value is recognized and respected through the invested response of others, success is achieved and experienced.

So, success is achieved anywhere value is represented and received. As a result, success is a prize experienced both in the personal dimension of our lives as well as in the professional. Forty-two years ago, Barbara invested her life in me in becoming my wife. She saw something in me worthy of her investment. I believe her investment in me as being the greatest success of my life.

I have friends who have invested in me as well. Likewise, I have invested in them. As human beings we represent value. How that value is perceived by others is another matter altogether. People regard what you represent and they choose. Now, before you get worked up over the judgement word, you have to know that everyone experiences and renders value judgement, including you. Standing in judgement of another from a prejudicial vantage point is never wise, nor is it the point here.

Here is the point. People will embrace others as more than a life acquaintance if and when they perceive their value to be worth more of their time, emotion, and risk. As a result, over time, people invest themselves in the friendship of others. Over time, people will be worthy of the invested relationship of employment. People will be perceived as representing the value of higher levels of trust and so they are promoted into more significant roles of influence. People invest their vote in people who they judge to be worthy of that affirmation and so they cast their vote. I hope you get the point.

The challenge we face daily is effectively representing our created value. My encouragement to you is to always begin with God. Place Him at the center of your world. Then, because of His love for you, invest yourself in others. Your valuing of others will actually make you valuable to them. It is not manipulation. It is serving meaningfully and personally. Contentment in life will be learned through investing in others and in making yourself a value in whom they choose to invest. Think about it. Do well, my friends.

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The Power of Recognition

Understanding the power of recognition is essential to powerfully influencing the world around you. Far from manipulation, recognition is about actively showing respect for the actions of others. By celebrating the value of what you see, you are validating them and the choices they are making. Otherwise, how will they know?

So, what difference does it make? It makes none if you are content with moving through life having limited effect. In reality, the difference you make in this life has less to do with what you do and more about how you celebrate the life performance of others. By recognizing and praising them for what you see, you actually multiply your own effect.

Think about it. While what you value in life is important for you to represent, it is through the encouragement you communicate to others that your influence is actually maximized. It is your influence in the lives of others that makes the difference. Recognition is the key.

All it really takes is active awareness. By staying more aware of the people in your world, you are able to catch them in the act of distinctively representing the very things you value. Your active recognition of their behavior encourages them to keep going. People need to know. They need your validation. They may say they don't but they do. They need your reflection of them as much as you need theirs.

It is not about allowing others to define you or you them. It is about being responsive. It is about giving and receiving feedback. Relationships are about relating. Relating to others involves communicating what you see, hear, and think. Commit to recognizing and applauding the best in others. It is the best way to represent yourself. Do well, my friends.

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Beginning Again, Again

Half of this year is almost gone. It is hard to believe. But, I said the same thing last year at this time and the year before. As "halftime" approaches, it is time to think about things you have done well in the first half and things you need to adjust or change altogether for the second. It is important to begin with intention. It is equally important, however, to "begin again" with integrity. What is there in your life you intended when you began this year and yet you realize now you simply are not getting done? It may be time to begin again. It is ok. It is really more than ok. Don't give up on your process.

The first thing to ask yourself is, "Was it important when I intended it?". It is typically when you begin that you have the greatest clarity. You knew what you needed to do and how you needed to do it for the most part. Some adjustment may be required along the way. It is part of the process of living and learning. Where you will get lost is in the why. Over time, sure, you might need to adjust the how some. You may even need to reconsider the what. Most often, however, the real culprit is in the diminishing vision and connection you have of , and to, your reason why. It must stay strong and clear in order for you to stay consistent.

Staying clear about why is important because of the alternative you will face. To the degree you lose sight of your reason why, to that degree you will invite a level of disappointment and depression into your life. Your self talk will begin to become filled with negative self analysis. You will begin to hammer yourself about what you are not doing. You are a loser. You always give up. You are weak. It is just like you. Do any of these statements sound familiar?

Accountability is about maintaining clarity. It is about staying reminded of your what and your why. It is maintaining the integrity of your life intentions. Remember, "Intention without execution creates depression". It is true. And, you can do something about it. Choose to begin again. It is a power you have as a human being. Choose to exercise it now before things go any farther. I know where I need to begin, again and I know why. Do you? Do well, my friends.

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Choose Your Culture

Where do you spend most of the time in your life? My guess is for most it will be in the workplace. Each week, we have 168 hours to live. If you sleep like most average Americans, you probably don't get much more than six hours of sleep per night. Which means, you would have 126 waking hours to experience. If you approach your work like most of us do then, one way or another, you probably spend somewhere close to 50 hours either in or traveling to your place of work. I would suggest most Americans spend over half of their lives at work.

Here is the point. If you are going to spend over half of your life in a place with people who aren't the people you love most or to whom you have the most commitment, why would you not want to do your part to make it the most positive, productive, and powerful experience of your life? Yet, the culture experience at work being produced by most of us is toxic to say the very least. We live it and then go home completely wasted. Then, we get to take on the hard part of living. Is there any wonder family life in this country has and is being ravaged.

I believe we need to create workplace cultures where we receive energy to live the rest of our lives. Before you think it, I know it is work. I also know work done well in the midst of others who are equally committed to creating a special, if not protected, professional environment in which to work can be an experience that is both healthy and positive.

Here is your reality. You are going to have to choose to create it. You cannot wait for others to produce it. You can encourage others to join you in producing it. You can't wait for management or ownership to produce it. They can't do it for you, and in many cases, they won't. You can, however, manage up and influence them toward the difference it will make in company productivity, morale, and ultimately, profitability.

Start a movement in your workplace. Begin as you travel toward it. Listen to something instructive and positive. Choose to represent the culture you want to experience. Respect others. Recognize the kind of behavior in others, management included, you want to continue to experience. Determine to grow and develop. Learn something even if it does help "the man" make more money. Do it for you. Learn to communicate clearly and with power. Engage conflict and learn to produce through the opportunity it represents. Then, go home. Take home with you the energy you will have created. Do well, my friends!

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Life's Limiting Factor

Life is difficult and fear is the complicating factor. In fact, it is the limiting factor in all of our lives. It complicates life because it limits the relationships we were meant to know and enjoy. Fear serves to limit us on several levels, however, it does its primary work in the area of intimacy in relationships.

Fear of someone really coming to know us is one of fear's most limiting factors. The best definition I have ever heard for intimacy is "the ability to share our most present fear with absolute confidence". It is our lack of confidence in who we are that serves to defeat us. Because we are insecure in ourselves, we hide from others.

We are afraid to get too close to others because of our fear of losing them. Once again, fear tends to limit the very thing we were meant to enjoy. We stay afraid of losing something we were never meant to own. Relationships are not possessions. They are privilege. They are meant to be a life experience where we can love and be loved.

Fear keeps us afraid of exposing ourselves and all of our weaknesses. We don't want to look, or feel, foolish. In fact, we work overtime to keep from being seen as we are. We disguise ourselves. We wear masks to hide our weakness. We want to avoid being vulnerable at all cost.

We will only come to know true relationship with others when we allow them to know us as we really are. It is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to another person that we begin to know and be known. It is by engaging our fears that we conquer them. The work begins within. We have to find peace. Our identity issues need to be settled. It really is a spiritual matter. Knowing others begins with knowing ourselves. Make peace with self and know peace with others. Do well, my friends.

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How Will You Think?

Why do we think the way we think? We think the way we think because of what we have experienced in life up to this point in time. So, as we begin this new year, we all have the opportunity to think new things because we are all about to experience the unknown of tomorrow. A few weeks ago, I suggested that there is one thing you can depend upon during the year to come, and that is the unexpected. You have a life waiting for you over which you have no control except for the way you will respond to it. Your thinking will be changed forever because of the reality of the unexpected.

What will you do, on purpose, to influence new thought for yourself? I mean knowing that you will have things happen, over which you will have no control, what will you do, on purpose, to influence yourself? I want to encourage you to begin this new year with a determination to change your own thinking. It is going to happen to you anyway. Why not approach it with specific intention?

Begin by meeting new people...on purpose. Make the decision to spend time with people you admire. Contact them and ask for the opportunity to interview them. Ask them questions that make a difference. What motivates them? How do they handle disappointment or failure? How do they deal with conflict? Who has influenced them the most? How have they gone about maintaining some kind of balance in their lives? If they had anything they could change, professionally speaking, what would they do? Keep the time short but make it meaningful.

Read something you have never read before. Read a different genre of book or material to wrap your mind around. Think about reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Read Oh the Places You'll Go by Dr Seuss or Harold and the Purpose Crayon by Crockett. Read The Traveller's Gift by Andy Andrews and think through unique eyes of history. Pick a classic. Choose some poetry. Read Scripture again for the first time. If you want a suggestion as to where you might begin then read Stephen Covey's, The 8th Habit. If you get into it then read, or reread, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey. I would personally encourage you to begin with The Arbinger Institute's, Leadership and Self-Deception. Just read something.

Ask new questions. Change old habits and choose some new ones. Spend time looking through the eyes of children. Get up earlier and watch the sun rise. Choose to specifically pay attention to more sunsets. Take dance lessons. Learn a new language or at least study a new culture. Watch the Discovery channel. Spend some time alone just for thinking purposes. Maybe use the time for listening to God.

I just want to encourage you to begin this year with new intention. Intend to think, on purpose. To a measured degree, what you think will determine how 2014 will go. Do well my friends living a purposed new year!

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