The Power of Recognition

Understanding the power of recognition is essential to powerfully influencing the world around you. Far from manipulation, recognition is about actively showing respect for the actions of others. By celebrating the value of what you see, you are validating them and the choices they are making. Otherwise, how will they know?

So, what difference does it make? It makes none if you are content with moving through life having limited effect. In reality, the difference you make in this life has less to do with what you do and more about how you celebrate the life performance of others. By recognizing and praising them for what you see, you actually multiply your own effect.

Think about it. While what you value in life is important for you to represent, it is through the encouragement you communicate to others that your influence is actually maximized. It is your influence in the lives of others that makes the difference. Recognition is the key.

All it really takes is active awareness. By staying more aware of the people in your world, you are able to catch them in the act of distinctively representing the very things you value. Your active recognition of their behavior encourages them to keep going. People need to know. They need your validation. They may say they don't but they do. They need your reflection of them as much as you need theirs.

It is not about allowing others to define you or you them. It is about being responsive. It is about giving and receiving feedback. Relationships are about relating. Relating to others involves communicating what you see, hear, and think. Commit to recognizing and applauding the best in others. It is the best way to represent yourself. Do well, my friends.

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Beginning Again, Again

Half of this year is almost gone. It is hard to believe. But, I said the same thing last year at this time and the year before. As "halftime" approaches, it is time to think about things you have done well in the first half and things you need to adjust or change altogether for the second. It is important to begin with intention. It is equally important, however, to "begin again" with integrity. What is there in your life you intended when you began this year and yet you realize now you simply are not getting done? It may be time to begin again. It is ok. It is really more than ok. Don't give up on your process.

The first thing to ask yourself is, "Was it important when I intended it?". It is typically when you begin that you have the greatest clarity. You knew what you needed to do and how you needed to do it for the most part. Some adjustment may be required along the way. It is part of the process of living and learning. Where you will get lost is in the why. Over time, sure, you might need to adjust the how some. You may even need to reconsider the what. Most often, however, the real culprit is in the diminishing vision and connection you have of , and to, your reason why. It must stay strong and clear in order for you to stay consistent.

Staying clear about why is important because of the alternative you will face. To the degree you lose sight of your reason why, to that degree you will invite a level of disappointment and depression into your life. Your self talk will begin to become filled with negative self analysis. You will begin to hammer yourself about what you are not doing. You are a loser. You always give up. You are weak. It is just like you. Do any of these statements sound familiar?

Accountability is about maintaining clarity. It is about staying reminded of your what and your why. It is maintaining the integrity of your life intentions. Remember, "Intention without execution creates depression". It is true. And, you can do something about it. Choose to begin again. It is a power you have as a human being. Choose to exercise it now before things go any farther. I know where I need to begin, again and I know why. Do you? Do well, my friends.

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Choose Your Culture

Where do you spend most of the time in your life? My guess is for most it will be in the workplace. Each week, we have 168 hours to live. If you sleep like most average Americans, you probably don't get much more than six hours of sleep per night. Which means, you would have 126 waking hours to experience. If you approach your work like most of us do then, one way or another, you probably spend somewhere close to 50 hours either in or traveling to your place of work. I would suggest most Americans spend over half of their lives at work.

Here is the point. If you are going to spend over half of your life in a place with people who aren't the people you love most or to whom you have the most commitment, why would you not want to do your part to make it the most positive, productive, and powerful experience of your life? Yet, the culture experience at work being produced by most of us is toxic to say the very least. We live it and then go home completely wasted. Then, we get to take on the hard part of living. Is there any wonder family life in this country has and is being ravaged.

I believe we need to create workplace cultures where we receive energy to live the rest of our lives. Before you think it, I know it is work. I also know work done well in the midst of others who are equally committed to creating a special, if not protected, professional environment in which to work can be an experience that is both healthy and positive.

Here is your reality. You are going to have to choose to create it. You cannot wait for others to produce it. You can encourage others to join you in producing it. You can't wait for management or ownership to produce it. They can't do it for you, and in many cases, they won't. You can, however, manage up and influence them toward the difference it will make in company productivity, morale, and ultimately, profitability.

Start a movement in your workplace. Begin as you travel toward it. Listen to something instructive and positive. Choose to represent the culture you want to experience. Respect others. Recognize the kind of behavior in others, management included, you want to continue to experience. Determine to grow and develop. Learn something even if it does help "the man" make more money. Do it for you. Learn to communicate clearly and with power. Engage conflict and learn to produce through the opportunity it represents. Then, go home. Take home with you the energy you will have created. Do well, my friends!

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Life's Limiting Factor

Life is difficult and fear is the complicating factor. In fact, it is the limiting factor in all of our lives. It complicates life because it limits the relationships we were meant to know and enjoy. Fear serves to limit us on several levels, however, it does its primary work in the area of intimacy in relationships.

Fear of someone really coming to know us is one of fear's most limiting factors. The best definition I have ever heard for intimacy is "the ability to share our most present fear with absolute confidence". It is our lack of confidence in who we are that serves to defeat us. Because we are insecure in ourselves, we hide from others.

We are afraid to get too close to others because of our fear of losing them. Once again, fear tends to limit the very thing we were meant to enjoy. We stay afraid of losing something we were never meant to own. Relationships are not possessions. They are privilege. They are meant to be a life experience where we can love and be loved.

Fear keeps us afraid of exposing ourselves and all of our weaknesses. We don't want to look, or feel, foolish. In fact, we work overtime to keep from being seen as we are. We disguise ourselves. We wear masks to hide our weakness. We want to avoid being vulnerable at all cost.

We will only come to know true relationship with others when we allow them to know us as we really are. It is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to another person that we begin to know and be known. It is by engaging our fears that we conquer them. The work begins within. We have to find peace. Our identity issues need to be settled. It really is a spiritual matter. Knowing others begins with knowing ourselves. Make peace with self and know peace with others. Do well, my friends.

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How Will You Think?

Why do we think the way we think? We think the way we think because of what we have experienced in life up to this point in time. So, as we begin this new year, we all have the opportunity to think new things because we are all about to experience the unknown of tomorrow. A few weeks ago, I suggested that there is one thing you can depend upon during the year to come, and that is the unexpected. You have a life waiting for you over which you have no control except for the way you will respond to it. Your thinking will be changed forever because of the reality of the unexpected.

What will you do, on purpose, to influence new thought for yourself? I mean knowing that you will have things happen, over which you will have no control, what will you do, on purpose, to influence yourself? I want to encourage you to begin this new year with a determination to change your own thinking. It is going to happen to you anyway. Why not approach it with specific intention?

Begin by meeting new people...on purpose. Make the decision to spend time with people you admire. Contact them and ask for the opportunity to interview them. Ask them questions that make a difference. What motivates them? How do they handle disappointment or failure? How do they deal with conflict? Who has influenced them the most? How have they gone about maintaining some kind of balance in their lives? If they had anything they could change, professionally speaking, what would they do? Keep the time short but make it meaningful.

Read something you have never read before. Read a different genre of book or material to wrap your mind around. Think about reading Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Read Oh the Places You'll Go by Dr Seuss or Harold and the Purpose Crayon by Crockett. Read The Traveller's Gift by Andy Andrews and think through unique eyes of history. Pick a classic. Choose some poetry. Read Scripture again for the first time. If you want a suggestion as to where you might begin then read Stephen Covey's, The 8th Habit. If you get into it then read, or reread, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey. I would personally encourage you to begin with The Arbinger Institute's, Leadership and Self-Deception. Just read something.

Ask new questions. Change old habits and choose some new ones. Spend time looking through the eyes of children. Get up earlier and watch the sun rise. Choose to specifically pay attention to more sunsets. Take dance lessons. Learn a new language or at least study a new culture. Watch the Discovery channel. Spend some time alone just for thinking purposes. Maybe use the time for listening to God.

I just want to encourage you to begin this year with new intention. Intend to think, on purpose. To a measured degree, what you think will determine how 2014 will go. Do well my friends living a purposed new year!

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Everyday Miracles

Everyday really is a miracle. Think about it. Every breath you take is a miracle in and of itself. Everything you see is a miracle. Having eyes that provide insight into the world itself is a miracle. What we call natural is really not natural at all. The expression “natural” childbirth is really pretty ridiculous. If you have ever witnessed the birth of a child, you could never think in terms of it being natural. It is an “out of this world” experience from beginning to end.

How about all of the “coincidental” things we experience in this life? What qualifies as coincidence? What if they aren’t coincidental at all? What if they are meetings that have been intended from the very beginning? If you think about it, relationally speaking, our story is not coincidental or chance based. We were born in a particular place, at a recorded time, to specific people. Our life entry suggests purpose and intent. Coincidence and chance simply do not qualify as an adequate explanation for who and where we are. Neither does it qualify for our intersections in life. Our chance meetings simply do not qualify as chance.

Bruce Wilkinson wrote a book a number of years ago called The Prayer of Jabez. The book captured the imagination of the world because of three short Biblical verses that celebrated the spirit of prayer. People all over the world were awakened to the reality of a supernatural heritage from which we can draw. Jabez looked to his God as One who could “expand his territory” and who would provide him blessings beyond his ability to imagine. All he needed to do was ask in faith.

Wilkinson has now written a sequel to his expose on Jabez entitled, You Were Born for This. In this book, he suggests that the prayer of Jabez actually ushers us into an every relationship to the world of “miracles”. His suggestion is that every single day we can look forward to living in the midst of the supernatural. He describes God as being One who is actively moving in His world and who is inviting those who believe to join with Him on a providential journey.

It is ultimately all about life perspective. We get to choose. Are we living a life of coincidences? Or, are we living a life that provides the potential for miracles everyday? While you can argue against the reality of a heritage and a calling that is a miracle from beginning to end, I am not really sure why you would want to. Think about it. Do well, my friends.

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Fierce Leadership

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Leadership is not easy.  Allen spends some time discussing why we should take a more passionate approach to leadership.

1. It is our destiny
2. It is our responsibility
3. Its is our opportunity
4. It is our role to play
5. It is our integrity
6. It is our fulfillment and our joy

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