The Power of Confusion

Conflict is an unpopular word. In speaking to audiences across the country, when I ask them how they handle conflict the inevitable response is, "We avoid it." People hate conflict. At least in our part of the world they hate it. The Chinese culture on the other hand has a different take on the word. In fact, to them, the synonym for conflict is opportunity. So, what do we do with this piece of confusion. If we follow the Chinese line of thought then it seems that we are actually repelled by opportunity. How does that make sense?

The truth is we hate what conflict represents and requires. We have created a culture where inconvenience and discomfort are avoided at all cost. We take pills to avoid the experience and escape the discomfort of pain. While that might be a wise course in acute and exceptional situations, it is not wise for those that are chronic. Furthermore, there are clearly times when pain itself is a great teacher and needs to be experienced.

We change relationships to avoid the discomfort of building them. Once we figure out that other people think differently than we do and might want to respond differently, we see it as a problem. In fact, diversity is a concept that has been legislated in this country in order to be experienced. Instead of seeing it as our greatest strength, we see it as a discomfort and an inconvenience that needs to be our right to avoid.

We build lifestyles around the need to avoid inconvenience. Many times we go into great debt to put ourselves in convenient places. We buy cars and houses and services to keep from having to embrace life's challenges. So, what is wrong with that you might ask. Only that somewhere in the escape of it all we have lost a vision for great value and opportunity.

Anything of real value emerges through the fire of conflict. It is forged. It is something that insists upon discomfort and inconvenience. What it creates, however, is more than worth the effort. Think about it. Relationships are nothing more than mere acquaintances until you live and work through conflict together. Jobs are only jobs until they are experienced as opportunity in life to grow and develop. Once you have successfully graduated from conflict's experience you will have built something that can last for a lifetime.

Living in challenging situations is not all bad. Many times the experience itself is worth it. Many people pay a lot of money and spend a lot of time looking for wilderness experiences and challenging situations. They have become a great value for which we are willing to pay for someone else to create for us. We yearn for opportunity to experience real life.

So, take some time and think about the things you might be working hard to avoid. It might just be that the great opportunity you seek is within your reach. Stop running from it. Reach through it. Do well, my friends

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