Expectations?

Expectations mean everything. They define your life experience. Think about it. You judge most things in your life by what you expect. Relationships are dictated by expectations. Anytime there is a struggle in a relationship, it will always go back to what you expect. Disappointment stems from expectations unrealized. So, with expectations being so important, wouldn't it make sense to spend more time thinking about and communicating them clearly?

The reality is neither of those happen. Expectations are rarely given the kind of attention they deserve. We rarely think about the expectations we have for ourselves with any kind of objectivity. Because they are personal to us, they are subjectively driven. As a result, we rarely have realistic expectations. They are either greatly underestimated or grossly overestimated. They are seldom healthy.

The expectations we have for others are seldom clarified or communicated. They most often fall prey to assumption. We assume people will know what we expect of them and they do the same with us. Because they are not communicated, there is no place for achieving agreement much less understanding. So, we move along until, eventually, there is a collision of what we expect with what we receive.

The thought is this -Why not take some time to think? Think about what you think of yourself as though you weren't you. Think about personal expectations from the vantage point of one who really knows and loves you. Seek some kind of objectivity. At the same time, achieve clarity. Get clear about what you expect of you and find some level of agreement within yourself.

Then, take your expectations of others more seriously. Having achieved a healthier and more reasonable place within yourself, choose to do the same for the people in your world. You might need to lighten up a little on them just like you needed to do for yourself. Clarify what you expect and then communicate just as clearly. Then, ask for agreement. It is only when and where you achieve agreement that a relational symphony will be experienced.

So, the next time you hear the words, "What do you expect?", take them seriously. The quality of your life might just depend upon your answer. Take some time. Think about it. Do well, my friends.