Being Alone

Being alone is not a natural arrangement for human beings. We were all born into this world in unique relationship to another. If an infant is abandoned, it is considered to be a travesty. It isn't right. The same is true for adults. You never grow out of the need for relationship. While there is something to be said for being able to enjoy "alone time", it is a short term fix not a long term answer.

Unlike the created arrangement surrounding the birth of a child, relationship is not guaranteed for "adult children". As you grow older and mature in life, the need for relationship does not go away but the responsibility for creating those relationships shift. It moves from a Creator who provides for relationship to a human being needing to choose relationship.

Because you have been created into an experience initiated by love, you are provided the freedom in this life to choose love. In fact, in many ways, the reality of your freedom to choose relationship is love. Relationship with others will not be done to you unless you are found guilty of breaking some law of community or if you become a threat to others. Experiencing that kind of relationship is known as imprisonment.

On the other hand, you do have the power to choose relationship in this life. While it is easier and seemingly more convenient for some, it is true for us all. It just requires your choice and your response. You first have to accept the responsibility for creating them and then you are faced with the challenge of building them. It takes intention and the investment of time. They do not just happen nor are they guaranteed. They take work.

This time of year the tragedy of being alone is so clear. The heightened reality of depression among us presents itself. People who feel alone or those who actually find themselves alone for Christmas find themselves experiencing the reality of the tragedy to its fullest.

So, here are two thoughts for you to remember this Christmas. Look for those who are alone and provide them with the gift of relationship. It will the greatest gift you could ever give. Give them you. And, remember the message of Christmas. Immanuel, "God with us". God's greatest gift to us all is the gift of His love. Remember it and receive it as the divine gift that does keep on giving. It really is the greatest gift of all. Do well my friends.

One Another

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Holiday time is here and the New Year is near. This week Allen wants to share with you some thoughts to remember this year.

1. Peace
2. Community
3. Joy
4. Love

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The Mystery of Christmas

"It is the best of times and it is the worst of times". This great opening line is probably the best way to describe what Christmas has become. It seems to be happening every year. The music begins not long after Halloween and it fills the air just in time for Black Friday. Shoppers line up and then run over one another to get to the best deals in the store. Retailers declare Christmas a success or failure depending upon the volume of sales they experience. What has happened to Christmas? Someone has stolen it and it is not the Grinch.

There are those for whom Christmas is a great joy. The trees have found their place in the house and the lights have been strung. Children have put their Christmas orders in with the caveat that there are to be no surprises please just give us what we want. Travel plans have been made for families who will enjoy sweet reunion. Some charity, or needy family, is chosen to receive a token expression of mercy and grace for the year. It always feels good. Hot chocolate, egg nog, fireplaces, stockings hung on the mantles with care. You get the picture.

On the other hand, there are those for whom Christmas brings great sadness. There are no trees because they have no place to live. No gifts will be given or received because they have no money to spend on the best of deals. Families are broken. Loved ones have been lost. Memories are painful. It really is the worst of times for so many.

Here is the mystery. Christmas is a story based in the birth of a baby almost 2,000 years ago. Listen to the words in the music. He brought a message, a gift for everyone no matter who they are, where they are, or how they have lived. "God is with us". He is a gift to be received. Immanuel. I AM is here. There is good news. He loves us and he wants us to love one another. The gift came in a small package but it is a wonderfully powerful gift.

The mystery of Christmas is amazing when it is experienced. Giving is better than receiving. Love is more powerful than hate. Forgiveness is meant for everyone to experience. Life is more than what we see. Jesus came to explain it. He got no great deal in the process. He paid the price required. He did it with words of love on His lips.

It is not about Gimble's or Macy's. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is about a world that has gotten it wrong from the beginning and about the Spirit who lives as the answer to it all and He wants to be experienced and expressed year round. He isn't dressed in a red suit. He is clothed in understanding, forgiveness, and grace. Christmas is a gift waiting just outside the door to your heart. He is waiting to be received. Receive His gift and enjoy a truly, merry Christmas. Do well, my friends.

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group.To have this weekly podcast automatically upload to your mp3 player visit the iTunes Store and Power Search "Tappe talk" and then subscribeTo comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!

The Christmas Story

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. This week Allen wants to challenge you to live the Christmas story.

• Keep It Simple
• Celebrate
• Listen to God
• Give
• Love

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Breaking Patterns

There are some behavioral patterns that need to be broken. They aren't really habits. They don't necessarily involve addictions or compulsions. They are simply behaviors you have learned along the way. In many ways, they have become your greatest limiting factor because they represent behavior that has worked for you in the past. The truth is there are some patterns you need to break in order to create some new and productive ones.

Just because you have always done something a given way does not necessarily make it relevant to your present. Even though it has provided success in your past, it doesn't follow that it is the behavior you need in today's world. Life has changed and it may be time for you to follow suit.

Just because you have always gotten up at a given time does not make it the time to start your day in the present environment. Playing "the devil's advocate" may have been your syle in the past but it may not make it relevant, productive, or desirable today. You may not have given much thought or time to your health in the past but it may be time for you to start. Maybe you could eat anything you wanted to eat in the past. Today might be the time to make a change.

Behavior is a product of choice so it may be time to re-examine. Beginning again is an essential part of the development and growth process. Don't wait for the new year to begin; instead, make the changes you need to make today. The new year will look a lot better to you if you will. Do well, my friends.

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group.

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For Whom Are You Thankful?

I am writing this blog on Thanksgiving Day. It is early in the morning and I am enjoying a little quiet time for reflection. When I begin to think about all of the things for which I am thankful I realize how long the list really is. I also believe, at least for me this year, it isn't the right question. It isn't "things" that occupy my mind on this meaningful day. It is the people in my world. It is how my story has played out over a lifetime with and through others.

I have to begin with the most significant Other of all. The One who created me. I am thankful for who I am because of His design. He placed me in this world through people who loved me at a specific time and in a specific place. I am also thankful for who He is continuing to make me to be through His love. It all begins with Him.

I was blessed with natural parents who loved me and who provided and protected me. I am also mindful of all of the other people who were associate parents in my life. They contributed so much to who I know I am today. Their signature is all over my life.

I think about the circle of friends I have in my life today. The circle extends all all over the world and yet I know the circle begins with the love of my life. Barbara and I have been together as best friends and in a marriage for over 40 years. She is really the genesis for most, if not all, of my relationships today. Through her, I met people who introduced me to others who introduced me to others and on and on the story goes. I am so thankful for our story.

As you can see, I am a thankful man. I hope you are thinking through a thankful heart today. If not, spend some time thinking about the people in your life. Think about your origins. Think about the story that has been written through Him, and you, and them. Then, think about the story yet to be written. It really is a humbling and exciting thing. Be blessed, my friends.

Who Is Your Team?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Team is anyone you depend upon for your success. This is a perfect time of year to take a personal inventory of things. The new year is just around the corner. Allen shares his Thanksgiving thoughts for you:

• Humble yourself...
• Remind yourself...
• Motivate yourself...
• Celebrate yourself...

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Getting Rid of Junk

We are having a garage sale at my house. This is the second day. I am not a garage sale guy. This is my wife’s project. I just play a support role. It really is about cleaning house. After awhile, you have to do something with junk you have collected over the years. Actually, you have to do something with the things you don’t use any longer. It is amazing how true the old saying is, “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.” In fact, I think it is true from several vantage points.

Yesterday, I watched as people hauled away our junk with smiles on their faces. It made me think maybe we should have reconsidered selling some of those things. Were they really junk? And then I thought about “employees”. I really did. Not all employees, just the ones people are letting go. There are a lot of people today who probably need to lose their jobs but I wonder how many of them have been thrown into the junk category prematurely. It seems like the people who hire them next think they have really hit the jackpot. In reality, they probably have.

Once you begin to consider something as junk, you disrespect it. You put it in places where it can’t function. It gets lost. If left too long, it really gets mistreated. I think the same is true with some employees. They have been put into a category they can’t do anything about. Managers have them in the “junk” category and they can’t change their perception. What if they were treated with more respect? What if they were really challenged to perform? What if expectations were clarified? Think about it.

Here is the thought. If you aren’t going to give them a chance or if you don’t think they deserve a chance then you do need to get rid of them. On the other hand, you might want to give them one more look. Maybe there is treasure you have missed. Collins talked about getting the wrong people off of the bus and getting the right people in the right seats. I think he is right. I just think sometimes you can wait too long to have a garage sale and sometimes you can get rid of things irresponsibly. I am personally going to take a closer look at what we are putting up for sale. That is if my wife will let me. Do well, my friends.

Taking Care of Business

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Everyone is in the people business. No matter what business your in you are dealing with people. Allen spends time this week discussing taking care of people.

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What Do You Represent?

When people see you coming what to they see? What do they expect? You make a relational statement through the life you live every day. You carry a message people have to experience. It is important for you to stay aware of the impact you have because you do have one. You can represent something people look forward to experiencing or you can represent something people would rather avoid. What you represent is up to you. It is your choice.

Think about it. Why would you not want to be a blessing in the lives of people in your world? Why would you not want to represent a positive presence in their lives? I believe there are a couple of possibilities. The first one is probably the most frequent reality. You just aren't aware of others. You know they are there. They just aren't your priority. What you are doing, what you are needing, what you are thinking is your focus. You simply are not present for them. You are present for yourself.

It is also possible you really don't want to make a positive difference in the lives of others. For some reason, you want others to be as miserable as you are. Maybe you have suffered the abuse of others and so you think others should have the same opportunity through you. While I choose to think this must represent the minority reality, I do believe it represents a consequential one.

I want you to be awake and aware of the difference you represent. Don't think you are invisible. Don't think others aren't impacted by you. They are. Think about the people in your world. Maybe it is time for you to think about how you can make a positive difference in their lives. Maybe you need to make the difference in their lives you didn't experience in yours. What you choose will make all the difference not only in their lives but in yours as well. Do it for them. Do it for you. Just do it. Do well my friends.

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. There is one thing for sure. You will make a difference today. Whether you want to or not, you will. This week Allen challenges you to make a positive difference on purpose.

• Choose to be aware
• Choose to be positive
• Choose to ask
• Choose to equip

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Change or Transformation?

Everyone hates change. I hear it everywhere I go. Change is resisted. In reality, it is feared. It takes you to a place you do not want to go - the unknown. I am convinced change is so unpopular because it is something happening to you. Life is happening to you and you don't like it. But, what if you were happening to life as opposed to it happening to you? You cannot do anything about change. It is going to happen. It is your reality. However, you do have a choice to make. Change or transformation?

Change happening to you makes you a victim. You happening to the challenge of change makes you a leader. Leaders choose transformation over change. Transformation is something you engineer. Change is something being engineered for you. Resistance to change is a reaction. Choosing to transform yourself as an answer to change is a response.

Change is coming from the outside, in. Transformation comes from the inside, out. You have to work at managing change. Transformation, on the other hand, is about creating changes in harmony with the vision you have for yourself. It is about you choosing to change.

Transformation is purposed. I have a faith that embraces the transforming work of God in my life. Through His Spirit, He transforms me into the image of His Son. He works in me from the inside, out. I get to cooperate with what He is creating in and through me. I believe He intends this arrangement for every human being.

Faith takes you to another level of thought with regard to transformation. It gives you confidence in the face of fear. It gives you security in the face of the unknown. You have to choose how you approach the transformational work you choose for your life. I highly recommend faith as a graceful and powerful companion.

There is a difference between change an transformation. Taking responsibility for the choice you make between the two is all yours. One way it works on you. The other way it works in you. Bring God into your picture and you have Him working in and through you. Bottom line, change does not have to be feared. It just needs to be put into new perspective. Do well, my friends.

The Power of Transformation

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Change is going to happen. You CAN count on it! The question Allen spends exploring this week both in Wednesday's blog and in this podcast is, "Is it going to be a product of your choice or is it going to be chosen for you?"

• The Choice is yours.
• The Difference is Powerful.
• The Alternative is Frustrating.
• The Possibility is incredible.

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Expectations

If you ever find yourself challenged in a relationship, you can always know it involves expectations. It is just as true in your personal life as it is in business. Someone is expecting something from the relationship they are not getting. Disappointment sets in which can quickly turn into disillusionment and descend further into depression. The truth is expectations represent a powerful link to effective communication and relationship development.

It all begins with recognition. Recognize the people in your life as the place to begin. What are their expectations of you? What are their expectations of the relationship? You know yours. It is their expectations you don't know unless you ask them. Even then it can't be one time done. Expectations shift and change without any notice at all. They are fluid be their very nature. You have to keep them clarified.

Expectations cannot be assumed. You may have a job description in place. You may think you have some kind of positional understanding in a relationship. Expectations cannot be captured through positional designation. Nor are they clarified through the most complete job description. What is to be done or from what position it is to be done are both easy to identify and communicate. Expectations, on the otherhand, have to do with how you, or they, want things done. What are the preferences? Agreement has to be reached and then reached again and then reached again. Expectations tend to morph.

One more thing, expectations don't have to make sense. They don't. A person might have expectations of you in a job that are totally unreasonable. They might not even be possible. You cannot do everything despite what some might think. Expectations in a relationship can be the same. If another person expects you to secure them in life that is a car wreck waiting to happen. It is not healthy for you or for them to let that lurk between you. Expectations have to be discussed, clarified, and agreement must ultimately be reached.

Expectations make the powerful difference in any relationship. Customers, marriages, managers, coaches, doctors, and children require your attention with regard to keeping them clarified. If you don't do it, who will? Them? Come on. Do well, my friends. Lead on.

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by the Tappegroup. Read Allen's follow up blog this Wednesday on Expectations. How often do you really get your expectations exceeded? This week Allen shares a few thoughts on a more serious look on expectations in Life.

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Go Deep!

How deep do you go with the questions of life? Questions like “who” are you as a human being? What “responsibilities” are yours because of your life definition? How well do you “represent” yourself in the roles you play? If you have no real answer to those questions then it is time for you to go deeper into the challenges of living.

You need to provide definition for your life. Most people allow what they do or the career they pursue to define them. What you do is not the place to begin. It needs to be the result of definition not the cause. Who you are is a picture you have to create. It is the place you need to begin.

Once you have definition in place, you are ready to refine it by establishing priorities and responsibilities you recognize. Because of who you are there are resulting responsibilities. By establishing your value system, your priorities, and your responsibilities as a human being, you are ready to decide how you will express it.

Representing who you are is really what life work is all about. Because of who you are and because of what you believe, you are ready to present. You are prepared to represent yourself with integrity. When you establish your purpose for life and work it will always take on new meaning no matter what the company or even the economy says.

Take a little time for yourself. Pause to think. Go deep into the questions you really need to be asking. Continue to answer them as you grow through the rest of your life. Do well, my friends.

What is Your Plan?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. How do you plan on executing your plan this 2011 year? Do you have one? Allen shares a few suggestions this week on creating your plan.

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Identity, Agreement, and Relationship

Culture is the life experience created by people. The culture can be purposed or it might just be happening. The difference in the two options will be found in the result experienced. Where culture is being purposed, the experience can be one of passionate engagement. In the case of life happening to you, it is a victim's experience.

It all begins with who you believe you are. It is your sense of identity. As a result, it begins with how significant you are and why you are. Are you a team? Are you a community? Are you a fellowship. Once you have answered those questions then you have successfully "defined" yourself.

Because you are defined by identifying yourself, you are now ready to be "refined". Refinement comes through agreement to the responsibilities you accept because of who you know you are. Being accountable to your responsibilities will be the challenge of maintaining the integrity of the culture.

Then, relationships can be developed. Roles and positions can be established. The nature of your relationships will never define who you are, however, they will "represent" who you are. How you treat each other and whether you react, or respond, to one another will be driven by your commitment to who you are and by your accountability to your responsibilities in the process.

Clarify who you are. Commit to being who you say you will be. And, make it your living expression. Do well, my friends.

Making Life Work

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Relationships are a challenge. Allen shares some thoughts this week on creating connection and finding agreemeint in the midst of our diversity.

• Never take agreement for granted.
• Always begin with them.
• Be willing to come their way.
• Continue to clarify expectations.
• Stay humble.

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What Can You Do?

This past week, I have had a recurring conversation. It has revolved around the problem of being overwhelmed. People who believe they have more to do than they can get done. They live everyday with the frustration of knowing they did not get "it" done. Life has become depressing. They have lost confidence and energy in the process. Can you relate? If you can then you, no doubt, feel the weight of the question, "What can I do?" Things can seem hopeless and paralysis will set in quickly. There is hope. There is something you can do.

First, do you believe it is possible? Do you believe it is possible to do your job effectively? Do you recognize your potential for getting it done? If the answer is yes then you are ready to move forward. If the answer is no then you need to take a step back and look again. Recognizing your potential for performance is essential to your successfully pursuing it.

Secondly, do you want to badly enough? Is it something you really want to do? I am not talking about what other's want you to do. I am talking about your own conviction. How important is it to you? Motivation for performing is vital to making it happen. Motivation cannot be done to you. It lies within you. It is your choice.

Thirdly, clarify your "it". What are you saying you need to get done? Identify those things. Decide which one's are most important. Seperate the everyday priorities in your life from things that can actually get done Block time for both categories. Set up an appointment with yourself to get them done. Don't let anything or anyone get into that time. You can do it. You do it with appointments involving others. You can do it for appointments involving you.

Now, build some "margin" into your life. Place time between each appointment with yourself or others. Don't schedule insanity into your own life. Take time to breathe, relieve, and assess. Grab the things you can knock out quickly. Just don't look for someone else's work to do. Stay focused.

Finally, choose to say "no" or "not now" to things that don't deserve a "yes". Say "yes" to only those things you know you can get done. One thing at a time. Reduce your "it" list to three. Specifically the things that are terminal in nature. The things you can get done. Do the first one and then move to the second. Don't move to the next until you have done the first. As you remove one thing from your list then add one.

You can do something about what is happening to you. You can take control and responsibility for your choices. You cannot control what others do or think. You do not have to be a victim unless you choose to be. You can do it. Do well, my friends.

Say No!

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. In a day and time when choices and opportunities are endless sometimes the best answer is "NO!" Allen shares his thoughts this week on the importance of that answer.

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Make a Difference!

Is it better to talk about it or really do something about it? About what you might ask. About anything important to you. How much do you invest of yourself in really making a difference in this life?

I think your calendar and your checkbook will tell you a lot. What you treasure will be found in the time and financial history you are writing. Check it out.

I do believe talking is important. I just think you need to be talking about things that make a difference with people who will join you in making a difference.

How much "sports" do you really need to discuss (I love sports. I play sports. I spend too much time watching, listening, and talking about sports). What about the time you spend listening, reading, and watching things you cannot change? How much "waste" can you, or we, afford?

We are living in a day when we need to actively contribute. To the degree you don't choose to contribute, to that degree you don't really have anything relevant to say about those who are in the arena trying. Neither do I. Do we? Do well, my friends.

Don't Forget!

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Have you ever experienced a week where you end up leaving a trail of things behind you? Allen spends some time on the thought of NOT forgetting:

• Slow down.
• Stay present.
• Allot more time.

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Who Qualifies?

You have probably noticed you have alot of people in your world. And, with all of those people, you have roles and responsibilities to go along with them. Take a few moments to write down the names of those people who are most consistently present in your life.

Now that you have a little more clarity, who chooses how your life is going to go? How is all going to fit together? It is your life. You are writing your story. So, who is going to be holding the pen? I think it is more important than you may know.

To begin with, you are purposed in this life. You have been placed here for a reason. Every day you have a distinctive part to play. With that in mind, no one qualifies to create your life but you. I personally believe the only one who qualifies but you is the God who created you. Begin with Him. Listen. Stay aware of His lead.

The alternative is to play the victim. Let someone else choose and you will always have someone to blame. Unfortunately, victim's aren't highly valued in this life. They are pitied. They are looked upon as the unfortunate. Who wants to live that way, on purpose?

The reality is yours. You choose how your story will be written. God has great intentions for what He has created. Others don't qualify. They aren't responsible for your choices. You are. Celebrate it. Do well, my friends.

Take the Lead

Leadership is a big topic in the marketplace today. Initiatives abound. Mission and vision statements are being rewritten in order to include the new leadership emphasis. Of course, some organizations have been talking about it for a long time. People are being encouraged to lead, take responsibility, and own their performance. Accountability is a big word in our new economy. The word is clearly out there. It is the "how to" that is missing.

Forever, position has been the sign of the leader. Executives and managers are recognized as leaders because of the role they play. The problem is that position does not automatically make a leader. People can wear the tag and not have the effect. Organizations can no longer afford to have a small segment of their people owning the responsibility of leadership. The need is to have it define their culture because everyone has influence.

The truth is we are all leaders. We were born that way. We all make a difference. We all influence the lives of others. What we do with our reality is another matter altogether. In my podcast this week, I focused on one very practical way for you to take the lead. Ask questions. Become a master at it. Ask people about what they are thinking? Ask people to help you understand? Ask people about their lives? Leaders ask more than they talk. Leaders begin with others. Leaders make a purposed difference in the lives of others.

Don't wait for organizations to ordain you as a leader. Take the lead. Play the role you were created to play. Begin with the people around you. Lead the way through the power of communication. Make others the object of your attention. Ask your way into their lives. They will love you for it. They will follow your lead. Do well, my friends.

Who is Leading Who?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Every person is born into this world comes with influence. In that sense, every person born into the world is a leader. Allen shares a few thoughts this week on how to increase the amount of influence you have.

• Ask questions about them and about things of interest to them.
• Ask open ended questions.
• Ask follow up questions.
• Answer and invite feedback.
• Ask questions that feed their strengths.
• Ask questions that invite mutual insight
• Ask questions that provide direction.

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What Are You Selling?

Are people buying what you are selling? If they don’t think what you are selling will fix something, or answer a question, for them then they won’t be buying even if they are kind enough to show some interest. So, how relevant and valuable are you to the world around you from their point of view. Remember, perception is everything.

Selling a product, tangible or intangible, requires recognition of the effect represented for those who are buying. You have to begin with them. Once upon a time, you were probably encouraged to spend a great deal of your time in your presentations explaining the unique features you and/or your product represent. Things then evolved into a more “relational” sell where you focused more on getting in touch with their needs. Things have now shifted again to a more “resource” driven sell where you must help them recognize their needs and at the same time identify for them the answer you represent. You need to know them better than they know themselves.

Value is found in relevance for you personally and for the products or services you represent. Engaging and impressing others will involve communication that connects. Connection will be found only in, and through, mutual understanding. Becoming a student of the world must become more than mere rhetoric. It must become a lifestyle. Your quality of life depends upon it.

Creativity is significant as long as it addresses the needs and concerns of the world. Creativity for creativity’s sake or simply for personal expression will have limited impact. Recognizing and presenting thought in creative new format and technologies can answer questions and launch new insights into the needs of the world.

The challenge is to connect. Connection is made through communicating messages that will serve the needs of those around you. Keep learning. Ask more questions. Pay attention. Apply yourself. Create value by meeting needs. The world will buy what you are selling.

What's the Problem?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. There may not be a more relevant question to be asking today than "what's the problem?". Allen shares some suggestions for getting in touch with the needs of the world around you.

1. Read More...
2. Ask Those Who Know...
3. Create Beta Sites...
4. Ask Those Who Are Not Interested...
5. Invest in Yourself...

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Listen to Seth Godin's Blog on "Sell the Problem"

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Where Are We?

If you are reading this blog, you are here. I saw a moving recently where the defining actor kept repeating this thought at strategic moments throughout the film, “We are here but where are we?” I love the reflection because, on one hand, it states the obvious. On the other, he asks a significant question. We have survived but where are we now?

There is so much to be said about the journey we have experienced over the past three years. The most significant one might be that we have shared it together. Much like 9/11, we have worked through a perilous period of time and, in many ways, our world has changed. Large companies have gone down as well as many smaller ones. Personal bankruptcies are at the highest point in history. The same is true for foreclosed homes and property. Few have dodged the bullet.
At the same time, we have all grown together through the same experience. Maturity might be a good word to describe what we have experienced. We have been forced to come to grips with our lack of discipline and irresponsibility with regard to our affluence. Debt has been exposed and is now being seen for the bondage it represents. Jobs can no longer be taken for granted. Entitlement is a vanishing spirit. Where there is a lack of performance changes have to be made no longer how long you have been on the job.

While we have matured in many ways, there are still some areas where our immaturity is being exposed. Our still young nation with its proud democracy is being challenged like never before. Some of our top governmental officials believe we need to morph into something else entirely. The “greener grass” syndrome comes to mind. Maybe we just need to work harder at restoring the spirit and substance of what we have been given.

The reality of the reigning tendency among us to “play the victim” is being made painfully obvious. Disengaged employees is now the greatest challenge we face in today’s marketplace. “Employees showing up” is not necessarily good news for employers. Blame is being cast widely and personal responsibility is being avoided.
So, “where are we?” We are alive. We have survived. My prayer is that we have learned and that we will continue to learn forward. We are in a new place. There is no return to “the good old days”. I am not really sure which ones we would choose anyway. Do you? Do well, my friends.

Be Where You Are

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Allen shares a few thoughts on what he believes we need to recognize about our new and developing world.

1. The "World is Flat"...
2. War is our reality....
3. Learning is not an option...
4. There are no guarantees...

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Authentically You

Culture is typically spoken of in terms of the collective. It involves reflection upon value systems and language. Culture can also be spoken of, however, from a very individual and personal vantage point. In fact, I really believe any discussion of collective culture begins with examining the culture of its individual parts.

Value systems receive significant attention in corporate and community settings. Sometimes they are assumed in the individual. I have, personally, never met anyone who would describe themselves as being without values. Everyone seems to be driven by some value set. The question lies in how in tune you are with what they are. What conviction do you have with regard to those values and how well do you represent them?

Language is just as definitive in gaining insight into your own personal culture as it is for any community. How do you talk to you? How honest are you with yourself? What kind of conversations do you have with you? At the same time, what kind of language do you use when speaking to others? Is your approach respectful or rude? How actively honest are you in relationship to others? The way you communicate both verbally and non-verbally defines you whether you like it or not.

Authenticity is vital to the health of any relationship in life. Life expression, through the message you convey, needs to be consistent with who you are and what you believe. It is one thing to recognize our mutual fallibility. It is altogether another to live in a consistent state of misrepresentation.

Saying one thing and living another will not get you very far. At some point in time, the two will collide. You will recognize fraud within yourself and others won't be far behind. Choose to respect yourself and others enough to be honest. Then, live it. Do well, my friends.

The Real You

Welcome to TappeTalk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. How important is authenticity to the dynamic of trust? Allen spends time discussing "The Real You".

• Values are not situational
• The real you needs to be enough
• Authenticity requires less energy
• Trust is critical

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Core Fitness

Core fitness is the new cry in the field of physical exercise. Yoga, Pilate's, P90x, you name it. Each form of exercise is calling for it. Focus upon core fitness and establish the foundation for your physical health. Interestingly enough, I believe core fitness is the missing piece in the realm of philosophical fitness as well. Core fitness, philosophically speaking, establishes the foundation for all relationship development. It is and through your philosophical core that identity, purpose, and security is realized.

Unless and until you have established a non-contingent sense of identity in your life, you will never be able to stay healthy in the midst of a world that would seek to keep you confused about you and who you are. To begin with, there is an unfortunate connection between what you do and who you are. As a result, you stay on a roller coaster between occasions of success and those of failure. You find yourself identified by race and relationship. Aging tends to change your perception as well both for you and for the world around you.

Purpose is a dynamic elusive for most people. What I am meant to do? Job dissatisfaction is more the rule than the exception. As a result, depression has grown to epidemic proportion and the pharmaceutical world loves it. Significance is something needed in your life. Without it, life will always seem meaningless.

Feeling safe and confident in this life is a need that accompanies us into this world. It is said we are born with two basic fears and by the time we enter adulthood we have accumulated over 2,000. You don't have to look too far to find reason for insecurity. Crime, war, poverty, economy, joblessness, broken marriages, death and you could go on and on.

So what is the answer? I believe it is found through faith in the One who created you. In fact, I don't believe it is possible to find a non-contingent sense of identity, purpose, and security in this world. I do believe, however, God has the answer to the core fitness challenge philosophically speaking. Being a child of God settles the identity question. Being called to serve mankind and glorify God through your life makes you and what you do significant. And, His Presence in your life, guarantying your eternity, provides all of the security you will ever need.

The key is found in what you believe. It is really about in whom you believe. It is settled in my life. Trusting, living and embracing what you believe with growing confidence and conviction is your core fitness challenge. Do well, my friends.

"Fit, Really?"

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. This week, Allen's blog, will be focused upon the significance of "core fitness" in you life. Allen has believed for years that our greatest challenge in life revolves around the challenge of philosophical fitness. In this podcast, Allen wants to challenge you with what he means by philosophical fitness.

• You believe in your power to choose.
• You have a strong sense of why.
• You have a commitment to having the health and energy to live.
• You have a commitment to building your life team.
• You have an active commitment to bringing value to your world.
• You have an active sense of humility and respect for your fellow human beings.

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Presence

Why is change such an anathema to so many? Why does change, so often, suffer the reversal of regression even after we have experienced it? There is no question change is resisted if not rejected by the majority of people in this world. Unless it is forced upon us, we would just as soon pass. Then, there are those who engage it and then suffer the disappointment of going back to where they once were or beyond. Have you ever had success in dieting only to find yourself, some time later, weighing in at more than you weighed before? Change is a challenge we need to engage with greater resolve and respect.

This week I am recommending the book Presence by Senge, Scharmer, Jaworski and Flowers. It is not a quick read, however, it will provoke thought and provide insight into the creation of sustained transformation in life and in work. The key, as they see it, is found in the word "presence". In short, the word suggests the consciousness of completeness, fulness, and awareness. It is about respecting and beginning with the whole of the challenge and not creating through the disconnected attention to its parts.

It is obvious to me through this thought process that our general dislike and disdain for change stems from fear. Fear of the unknown. What we don't know creates our most basic fear. Our lack of experience with, and preparation for, the creative process keeps us locked up in a world of our own making. Our infatuation with talking keeps us from listening which, in turn, keeps us from asking the questions we need to be asking. Our need to hold on to what we think we know keeps us from disturbing our self imposed ignorance and, often, prejudice.

Real change and transformation clearly results from a commitment to it. I particularly love the word "presence" because I believe the "Presence" of the God, through His Spirit, is constantly using life with all of its challenges and all of my choices to transform me into the image of His love. I do believe the short sightedness and reluctant grasp of both the magnitude and reality of transformation is our greatest limiting factor. Change and transformation is happening whether we accept it or not. By beginning with a recognition of Presence, we have nothing to fear. Do well, friends.

Lasting Change

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Change has always been a reality in life. Allen's purpose in this week's podcast is to make some practical suggestions for engaging in the process positively and on purpose.

• Don't underestimate the challenge.
• Don't engage it on your own.
• Don't wait too long.
• Don't miss the opportunity.

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The Power of One

I realize I am borrowing a title from at least one book and a motion picture. I can't help it. For what I have in mind in this blog, it just really works. Some of you will have to indulge me as I create a context for my thoughts. It is about the Texas Rangers. I am not talking about the law enforcement group. I am talking about the major league baseball team. You don't have to love baseball or the Rangers in order to appreciate the power of a move they have recently made.

His name is Cliff Lee. For several years now, he has been recognized as one of the most dominant pitchers in all of baseball. The Rangers recently signed him for what they hope will be a post season race culminating in a World Series victory. I know it sounds like a long shot. I don't really want to argue the soundness the probability. I want to discuss the difference Lee has already made. He lost his first game. He won one. And, he had a no decision in another one. On the surface, not spectacular. Look a little closer and you will see the rest of the story.

From the time he arrived on the scene, he has made the rest of the team better. In the three games he has pitched, he has pitched most of, if not all of, nine innings in each outing. He has thrown the highest percentage of strikes the Rangers have every seen in their history. Between each performance he takes time to talk to all of the young pitchers. As a recognized star, He doesn't stand apart. He stands effectively in the midst of them.

Here is the point. One person can make a real difference. They may cost a little more. They may not be with you long. Their presence, however, can raise the bar and elevate the sense of possibility for the whole team.

Think about it. If you are not exposed to something greater than yourself, if you are stuck with the way you have always done it or seen it done, then you will never be able to reach higher. The bar will not be raised because it is frozen in place. You become your greatest limiting factor.

I believe Cliff Lee will be gone next season. What he has done and is doing for the Rangers now, however, is more than worth the time and money invested. It may be time for you to let you and/or your team (company) be exposed to greater possibility. It may be time to add one or more who can represent excellence you never thought possible. If you think it takes three or more professionals to pitch nine innings then you will always be stuck with the limitation that represents. Until you witness a professional who shows you that it can be done be one then your perspective will change and maybe even your strategy. By the way, isn't that the way it used to be done? Names like Koufax and Gibson and Ryan come to mind.

Take the risk. Make the investment. Expose yourself to greatness. Reach higher and farther than you ever thought possible. Your game will change. People will be impressed. New value will be recognized. Do well, my friends.

Be the One

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. This week Allen invites you to think with him about what might be holding you back from making that great next step forward.

1. New Exposure.
2. Take the Risk.
3. Invest in it.
4. Reorganize for it.
5. Plan for it.

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Creating Memories

I am presently sitting in a coffee shop in Jackson, Mississippi. I am on a road trip with my wife, daughter, and granddaughter. We have just left Duluth, Georgia where we connected with my grandson. He competed in the National Junior Judo Competition. He travelled with his team. They had a great tournament. This isn't a diary entry or travel log. It is the account of a memory creation.

I have to begin by saying that for me driving several thousand miles rates really high on the gag me meter. I know some may love it but it just doesn't work for me. I think it is a scar from childhood. With that said, here I am. Creating memories is not about convenience. It is about catching moments. In our case, Savannah, my granddaughter, will be leaving for college in two weeks. I experienced my fifty-eighth birthday this week but that is nothing compared to knowing you have a granddaughter going to college. I am still trying to get over it.

Getting to spend several days with Savannah has been special. We have laughed a lot. We have gotten to sing a lot. We have eaten far more than we needed to eat. We have been able to celebrate her. She has gotten to do pretty much anything she wanted. We have spoiled her. It has been great.

Then, there is Caleb. He didn't really expect that his mom would be able to make this trip. Even though this national competition was important to him, she just is physically limited travel wise. So, we created a bed in the back of a rented SUV and made it work for her. He really didn't think we had the time or money to make it. So, you can probably imagine how he felt when he saw us just before his first fight. He had a great tournament. He came in second in the nation in his weight classification. The memory was made the moment he saw us walk in.

I wanted to rehearse this with you to remind me of how special this week has been. I also wanted to encourage you to stay aware of life moments. Not just yours but the moments you are sharing with people you love. I have to confess that I have missed too many of them in my life. So, I am thankful that I was awake and alive for this one. Do well my friends.

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. This week Allen spends time sharing some thoughts from his heart to yours.

• Pay attention
• Invest the time
• Make the Sacrifice
• Lighten Up
• Be thankful

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What Are You Thinking?

How consciously do you prepare for living each day? How prepared are you for dealing with things in life that typically provoke anger in you? How about the people and situations that frustrate and create stress in you? Stress and anger are created from the inside, out. What you think about any given thing will define how you manage it. Will you react or respond? Will emotion or reason play the biggest part in those times? Those questions will be answered by what is going on in your heart and in your mind.

The ancient Greeks thought of the mind as the seat of both your intellect and your emotion. It really is the working relationship between these two forces that create peace or stress. Most of what creates anger and stress in your life flows from what you fear. Fear is the culprit most of the time. Fear, however, is defined by you. Your thoughts establish your context. The key is to anticipate and prepare for the life contexts you most often experience. Staying philosophically fit is your challenge.

Reading is nourishment for your mind. What you listen to and what you watch creates so much of what goes on in your mind.

What do you think about rejection for example? If your thoughts define rejection as being failure, you will probably avoid anything where rejection is possible. What if, however, you see rejection as opportunity to create possibility? What if you regard it as a qualifying moment? No failure just opportunity. What you think makes all of the difference in the world.

My encouragement for you is to prepare for the life you are about to live. What are your narratives? Are you afraid? Are you discouraged? Are you stressed? Get behind what you feel and find the thoughts that are defeating you. Rethink life. Read, listen, and be exposed to things that support and encourage you. What are you thinking? You choose. Do well, my friends!

What Do You Fear?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. What are you putting into your mind? This week Allen focuses on replacing "fear" with strength and thoughts that will produce response.

• Think first.
• Think new thoughts.
• Think positively.
• Think purposefully.
• Think thankfully.

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Familiar Words, Fresh Thoughts

The 21st century has brought a new brand of change into our lives. Today, we are not talking about small adjustments. We are facing redefinition. Our jobs are being redefined. Many of them are disappearing altogether. The economy nationally and worldwide is being redefined. Purchasing power is escaping the middle and finding its way into the hands of a privileged few. Understanding of family become problematic. What constitutes marriage and what roles husbands and wives play has been redefined, and/or reversed, for many families. Change to the extreme characterizes our culture.

Words once familiar have now been redefined, or at least, expanded in scope. Team, once a word relegated to little league, has now become the accepted description for all organized or sytemized activities. Selling, once descriptive of something done "door to door" and is now descriptive of a dynamic requiring great relational and consultative skill. Connection no longer refers to telecommunication. It now defines the quality and extent of relationship. The list goes on and on.


Of course, their are new words now taking a presumptuous role in our communication experience. Words like "google" would have meant little to people in the late 2oth century. Can you imagine your father or grandfather saying google me? How about the "Internet'? What we regard as an essential today was a mere concept once relegated to an enlightened few. Think about concepts like "leasing". Once a concept for housing or apartment situations now defines the consumer population. It dominates transportation questions, telecommunication decisions, technology purchases and on and on it goes.

So, what do we do? We embrace it. We redefine and season it with new and contemporary thought. We make contemporary application. We take the word "team" and we make personal application to our life and work. We don't wait for Webster to do it. We realize team has an enormous impact upon all we do. To me, team includes anyone I depend upon for my personal success. How do you define it?


How do you feel about "selling"? The truth is you are selling every day of your life. You are asking people do buy into who you are and what you represent whether you like it or not. How about "connection"? Have you expanded the act of communicating beyond "talking" in your life? Insuring clarity and understanding by asking, listening, and learning has taken on greater priority than any other time in the history of mankind.

I hope you get the idea. Your world and mine is being redefined. You have a choice to make. You either choose to learn the language of the times or you can quickly become an island unto yourself. Of course, you know, you were never meant to be without relationship. So, welcome to the 21st century. Learn the language. Do well, my friends.

Redefinition

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. The world is rapidly redefining itself. So, the question for our time today is "How do we respond?" Allen shares some thoughts that hopefully you will give serious consideration:

• Don't rely upon past success for contemporary strategy.
• Don't allow your fear of failure to define your present performance.
• Don't refuse to embrace the reality of change..."the way we have always done it..."
• Don't expect your previous education to provide the credentials you need today.
• Don't forget attrition is a life reality. Continue to grow community.
• Don't expect normal to return. Every day is being redefined as your new normal.
• Don't expect affluent times to make up for your inconsistency or ineffectiveness.
• Don't let the time get away from you. It is not the time to get behind a growing curve.

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