How Is Your Smart Working For You?

I sometimes wonder just how smart I really am. It may be the world around me is moving more quickly and I am missing a step or it may be a fitness piece I need to become a little more serious about in my life.

I remember reading years ago about studies that were showing people with higher IQs outperforming people with average IQs 20% of the time while people with average IQs were outperforming those with higher IQs 70% of the time. I heard the term "emotional intelligence" for the first time in Daniel Goleman's great book by that title. Since that time, emotional intelligence" has become a more familiar conversation but I wonder how seriously it is really being taken.

I have become aware of the widening generational gaps in which we find ourselves. We have people who are generation "Yer's". Others who are straddling Y and X. Some who are pure generation "Xer's". And, there are those who are between generations X and "Boomers". Of course there are those who are pure Boomers and then there are those like me who are somewhere between being boomers and death. It really is complicated. There are different languages. Different cultures. Entirely different propensities toward technology. And, interestingly different approaches to relationships. 

Here's the point. There has never been a time when "emotional intelligence" has been more in play. I just know I am not nearly as fit as I need to be. I have have read the book by Bradberry and Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0. They did a wonderful job of reminding us that while we can do nothing about changing our IQ or our basic personalities we can change our emotional intelligence. They provided a test for benchmarking purposes as you work on the emotional growth process. I learned I have a lot of work to do.

So, here is the bad news. No matter how smart you think you are you probably are not nearly as smart as you need to be in order to truly stay relationally connected to the world around you. The good news is the key is available. "Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships". Check out their book for the rest of the story. I believe the emotional dimension is the fitness piece that will be getting a lot of my personal attention. How about you? Do well.

a071509t

What Do You Have In Mind?

I am sure you have had this question ask of you before - What do you have in mind? The question signals interest in what you are planning. Typically, others would be asking you that question, but what if you were asking that question to yourself about today? What do you have in mind about living today? What do you really mean to be taking up space and air in this world? What is your purpose for living today, or any day?

It may sound pretty deep and it really is. However, it is the kind of deep water you really need to jump into. These times call for clarity. There is enough confusion all around you for you not to have clarity within yourself. There is enough depression living near you for you to not have a clear sense of direction within yourself. So, let's give it some thought.

To begin with, I hope you have recognized there is not another one like you in this world. You are a one of a kind. That, in and of itself, suggests, even to the most shallow thinker, that there is some reason for you to be living uniquely in this world. So, before you can begin to discover purpose, you must believe there is purpose intended for you. Check that off. You are purposed to live this life or you would not be here.

Have you noticed there are alot of other uniquely purposed people around you? They are all distinctively different from you. They don't think like you, look like you, or sound like you but they are all around you. What is that all about? Well, since you are no mistake and they are no mistake, it would seem that you are meant for one another. Your purpose begins with the relationships you create in this life. Your purpose is fixed in others and your relationship to them.

Now, before you begin to start getting all independent on me, it is important for you to get clear about the fact that your being here involved a relationship. It begins with the love of a Creator who put you here that flowed through a relationship, good or bad, between people who birthed you into this life. There really is nothing independent about you at all. You are an interdependent being. You were created to stand alone with your God and in love with the people in your world. Whether you know them or not, your purpose lies in your love for them.

So, here is the launching point. Your purpose and mine is to find someone to love today. When we do it, it's like being a fish in water and not floundering on some shore. When we do, we find wind beneath our wings like an eagle in flight. It really is deep but it is also real clear. You and I were created to love God and love one another. What a gig. Do well, my friends.

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The Responsibility of Presentation

 

Do you give much thought to how you present things? You will if your read Nudge by Thaler and Sunstein. In this book, the authors do a great job of helping us see how easily people can be influenced simply by the arrangement of things presented to them. When I read this book, I began to think about the subtle balance between influence and manipulation. It also caused me to think about how I go about presenting things passionately and yet responsibly.

To begin with, I do believe it is important to be reminded of the power we all have as human beings. We have the power to influence the choices of others simply by the way we communicate ourselves to them. It happens everyday. It is happening to us and we are happening to others. I don't believe most people believe they have that kind of influence but the truth is always there in potential. So, on one hand, it is a terrific thing to realize. I have power to influence. So, how am I using it or am I using it at all?

You see, I believe the realization prompts both opportunity and responsibility. I have the opportunity to influence people every single day in some way. I can influence the way they think and the choices they make simply through they way I present myself and my thoughts. It would seem then that clarity becomes pretty important. Am I influencing people with confidence and purpose? It gives me reason to give more thought to the way I approach each day. I have great potential in everyday and I can't afford to waste it because of personal confusion.

At the same time, I have significant responsibility for what and how I present. Manipulation happens when I remove the freedom of choice from others because of the way I present. So, on one hand, I have the responsibility to present my passion and convictions about products or services or thoughts because they deserve to be heard. People don't know what or how I think unless I present it to them. At the same time, what they think needs to be respected and protected in the process. There really is an art to achieving that delicate balance.

So, take the time to think about your presentation today. Make it with passion and purpose. Present others with the opportunity to hear your perspective. It can change the choices they make so approach them and life responsibly. Just give them a nudge. Help them choose. Do well!

a081909t

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Destiny?

It seems that "destiny" is an ever elusive and mysterious discussion. People are searching for something they aren't. They tend to believe they are not some place they need to be. Destiny is a life long, never ending pursuit. For most, it is a discovery, or a treasure hunt of sorts, kind of like the "holy grail". But, what if it is not a pursuit at all? What if it is a process we are birthed into and not a pursuit or discovery at all?

I believe we have been created, purposed, and birthed into our destiny. Our story begins with a Creator. We begin with a relationship of "first cause" set in motion by a relationship between two other created beings. Sometimes prompted through love other times driven through lust, two people combine to give birth. We are birthed into a relationshp with a mother and a father. They may not hang around long. They may not be good at being who we need them to be. But, we begin in relationship. And, that is our destiny. Relationships.

We experience them in family. We experience them through friends. We engage them in the marketplace. We create community in living. We create fellowship in love. We live in a world of people. They are our destiny. The people in our world. Our destiny is all around us.

Destiny is where we live. It is not some place we aren't. It is not something we aren't. It is our today. It is the people we meet today. Our destiny is to learn to love and to be loved. We are created by a Creator who loves. We are destined to discover the meaning of love through this life. It is all about relationships. In the words of Darth Vadar, "It is your destiny." Do well, my friends.

a101409t

 To comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!