BitterSweet

This has been an interesting week. Through the lives of people who work with me, who go to church with me, who I have known in the past or through the families of people I love, there have been six funerals this week with which I have personal connection. One of the funerals was close enough for me to be asked to play a part in the memorial service.

I also had the opportunity to have lunch with a close friend who is facing the unexpected challenge of cancer in her life. What she was expecting was to be enjoying a wedding celebration with the new love in her life. In fact, I am going to be involved in that ceremony. We are just having to plan around cancer decisions and treatments.

So, this sounds like a pretty depressing story. While it might seem that way, it really isn't. It is the story of relationships. It is the bittersweet reality of intimacy. When you are involved in the lives of people it gets messy. In fact, you can count on there being days and weeks like I have just described. I know there are more to come because I have been blessed with a lot of people whom I have loved for a long time. Together we have engaged sweet seasons of life. So, we will inevitably share in some bitter ones. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.

My encouragement to you is to embrace the people in your life to the fullest.
Recognize the gift they are to you. At the same time, realize the gift you are meant to be to them. Life was designed to be a mutual experience, relationship wise. Prepare each day for the part you might need to play. Don't waste a day. Life is too precious. Relationships are too sweet, and yet, bitter sometimes.

The Value Of Friends

Welcome to Tappetalk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Who is playing a part in your life story? How have the friends in your life influenced you? A better question, how have you influenced them? Allen talks to us this week about the value of friendship.

1. Friends represent a part of our story. (Identity)
2. Friends are part of our reason. (Purposed)
3. Friends are ready and willing to help. (Security)

Powered by The Tappe Group

To have this weekly podcast automatically upload to your mp3 player visit the iTunes Store and Power Search "tappe talk" and then subscribe

To follow this blog just click on the "Follow Blog" button located on the upper left hand border of this page.

To comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!

The Question?

A few years ago, on the front page of USA Today, there was a feature story about the millions upon millions of dollars being spent in corporate America in an effort to motivate its workforce. Every relevant statistic was showing that their investment was yielding little to no return. Employees were showing signs of being less motivated through their health, attendance, retention and attitudes than ever before. No program of training helped. In fact, nothing seemed to help. Spencer Johnson was quoted as saying that until they began to ask the right question concerning the motivation of people nothing would change. What is the right question? The one he raised was whether motivation was an "inside out" or an "outside in" question.

Why do people do what they do? That my friends is the question. In fact, maybe a little beyond why. Do we do what we do because of who we are or because of who we are striving to be? And, is who we are striving to be our idea or someone elses? Notice how I made this personal. Because it really is. Motivation cannot be done to you or to me. It is something that comes from the inside and moves out. Johnson made that point in the article. He was the only one by the way that made any sense of things and he got very little space.

Motivation is personal. It is a spiritual issue. It is the energy that moves us. It is our passion for life and for work. We cannot live life striving to become something or someone we are not, with a fear we will never make it. Fear is debilitating. We need to live and work knowing who we are and operate through that strength and realization. Soaring with our strength is the answer to the motivation question. The Gallup organization found that to be true years ago. Don Clifton and Paula Nelson wrote a wonderful little book with that title.

Years ago I read Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald where he challenged me to answer that question - why do I do what I do?. So now, I challenge you to answer that same question for yourself. It is worth the time. It can change your life.


To follow this blog just click on the "Follow Blog" button located on the upper left hand border of this page.

To comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Get Out Of Your Own Way

Welcome to Tappetalk, a Purposed Connection Podcast by The Tappe Group. How often are you the one getting in your way? Allen gives practical and personal suggestions about how to get out of your own way.

1. Spiritual Conviction
2. Personal Energy
3. Relational Commitment
4. Daily Integrity
5. Professional Response

Powered by The Tappe Group

To follow this blog just click on the "Follow Blog" button located on the upper left hand border of this page.

To comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Changing the Game

What happens when what you thought would work, doesn't? What happens when what you planned just simply isn't working? The questions are simple. The answer is the same for both, but it is really hard. You have to change. You can't just keep doing what you have been doing that clearly is not working and expect to get a different result. You have to change something.

Here is where it gets difficult. When do you change? How long do you go with something before you give it up? I am encouraging you to read or listen to Seth Godin's little book, The Dip, this week. He does a good job of helping you work through that dilemna. So, I am going to leave that to him. I am going to focus on the challenge of making change. Once you have determined you need to change things, what do you do? Here are some of my suggestions.

Get some new thoughts. Look for someone who can help you think differently. Remember, you are doing what you are doing because you are thinking what you are thinking. You have to change your thinking patterns in order to get into new performance patterns. Read something new. Look back into the archives of my blog site. I have some great reading recommendations for you. I have some on my website as well at http://www.tappegroup.com/. You can read my book, The Power of Purposed Performance and you will find a significant reading list at the end of my book.

Change your pace. Whatever you are doing now, do it differently going forward. Start earlier. Take short motivation breaks during the day. Single-task instead of multi-tasking. Stand up when your are on the telephone. Get a headset. Take a walk everyday for your health sake. Pick it up. Sit up straight. Stand tall. Get your head up.

Prepare more effectively. Practice before you perform. Prethink the questions you are going to ask. Ask them out loud to yourself. Ask them to a colleague or friend. Work out the rhythms and the tones.

Cut down on your daily lists. Make sure you get your day done everyday. Leave more margins in your day. Stop leaving things undone. Do what you say you are going to do even to yourself. It is a matter of integrity.

Make sure you are making people better around you. Serve others. Pay it forward. Staying into others and getting out of yourself will serve to keep you emotionally healthy. It is the best investment you could make in yourself.

So, when you realize things are not working. It is time to make a significant choice. Change something. You can do it. I can do it. We have the power. It is not natural. You may not feel like it. It will have to be done on purpose. You choose.

What Happens When Momma Can't Help

Welcome to Tappetalk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Where and whom do you go to for answers? It use to be, and for some still is, our mothers. This past Sunday was a day to celebrate the guidance our mothers gave us. This week Allen challenges us to build on that foundation by searching for life answers in healthy places.

• God: Personal... Prayer... Presence
• Memories: I choose...Positive...Defining
• Spouse: Relationship...Patience...Meaning
• Family: Children...Grandchildren...Extended
• Church: Community...Fellowship...Support
• Friends: History...Acceptance...Encouragement
• Colleagues: Respect...Appreciation...Recognition

Powered by The Tappe Group

To have this weekly podcast automatically upload to your mp3 player visit the iTunes Store and Power Search "tappe talk" and then subscribe

To comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Making History

Most of the time we talk about studying history. When someone does something incredible, they are talked about as "making history". It happened recently with the election of our first African American President. It happened not too long ago when the all time home run record was broken in professional baseball , even with the steroid asterick noted. The first man in space then on the moon and I don't know what will be next in that race. You get the point. I just think we have "making history" all wrong.


I think history is something we make every day. In fact, we have just made it. Every choice we make every day of our lives represents the history that we are writing. Years ago, I made the choice to change a career path altogether. I left a business career that had every appearance of being successful. I moved into a life direction more oriented toward discovering what my life was really meant to be. I found myself coaching tennis for a small West Texas University with a NCAA II program with no scholarships and no real history of success as a tennis program. I coached in that program for 3 years. I played a very small part in what has become something really special. I celebrated that history with a room full of people who have been part of writing that history for the past 30 years. It was unbelieveable. Memories. Stories. Victories. Defeats. Laughter. Tears.


Here is the point. You are making history every single day of your life. You are a history maker. You are writing a story, and it is a story that is not just about you. It is a story that includes you and a lot of other people that you have not met yet. Maybe one day you'll meet them just like I did last night. Or, maybe you won't get to in this life. But, remember this. You are making history. Just make the determination right now that you are going to make history today and tomorrow and the rest of your life on purpose! You are changing the world.

How Do You Think?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Were you ever taught how to think? Most people weren't. Allen suggests a system that produces legitimate free thinking.

What is the real question (issue)?
What are my convictions about the matter?
What are my feelings about what is being considered?
How much do I really know?
How secure am I in what I know?
How will I learn more?

Powered by The Tappe Group

To have this weekly podcast automatically upload to your mp3 player visit the iTunes Store and Power Search "tappe talk" and then subscribe

To comment on this blog, click on the COMMENTS link located directly below. I would love to hear your thoughts!