Wednesday, April 29, 2009

When Is the Right Time?

Timing is everything. I have heard that undisputed wisdom all of my life. And, while I don't argue the fact that timing can play an important role in our lives, I just wonder if too much emphasis can be placed upon moments over which we have very little control. I mean how do we ever really know when we are in the midst of the "right" time? It just seems we can find ourselves waiting and watching for just the right time while a lot of time is being lost.

What if the "right" time is anytime you create? What if the "right" time is when we decide it is time to pray, to move, to act, to perform, to love, to apologize, to praise, or to rest? I am afraid we might be allowing ourselves to underestimate the significant role we play in this life. We have been given the ultimate power and privilege as human beings. We have been given the power to choose. And, no one can take that away from us unless we choose to give them that power.

I remember the first time I was introduced to Viktor Frankl's story. The Holocaust. That whole tragedy of human history has been documented so many different ways. However, there was something significant for me learning about Frankl's response to that time in his life. He had no control over what was happening to him. His family had been ripped from his life. Yet, he maintained the conviction that no one could make him a victim as long as he chose not to be. The Holocaust was his time. And, yet it was one time among many in Frankl's life. Every time he chose to exercise his power to choose; it was his time.

I think that is the answer. The right time is when we choose. Timing is everything because our power to choose is everything. So, I think we should exercise that power more often. I know I need to. I need to make the choice to live with more purpose in this life. How about you? Remember, timing is everything!




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Monday, April 27, 2009

Dealing With Disappointment

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection Podcast by The Tappe Group. What disappointments are you dealing with this week? When disappointment happens, and it will, how do you handle it's challenges? Allen gives us 5 thoughts on how to deal with the challenge of disappointment.
  1. Expect Them
  2. Embrace Them
  3. Express Yourself
  4. Elevate Through Them
  5. Energize Yourself



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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tears of Surprise

I was encouraged to watch a video clip sent to me by my friend Kim. In fact, I am going to encourage you to watch the same clip if you haven't already. The clip is from Britain's version of American's Got Talent. It is the performance of a 47 year old woman who, upon first glance, does not appear to belong on the program. None of the judges thought so. The audience didn't seem to think so. And, I have to confess, I thought she seemed a little out of her element. And then, she began to sing.


How long has it been since you have been totally surprised by something? I mean blown away, off the chart, you can't believe it kind of surprised. Well, that is where I found myself when I watched this woman sing. I was sitting by myself in front of my computer, I found myself tearing up. I really found myself getting emotional about this performance. I have spent some time thinking about it, and there really was an uplifting surprise for me in those tears.


This 47 year old woman who lived alone with her cat in a small English village marched onto a stage of skeptics and had the courage to do something no one believed in but her. What had taken her so long? How much discouragement had she received? I don't know. The point is there she was. All by herself. No family. No friends. Just her and her dream. I loved it.


So, the tears came to my eyes because of the courage of this woman and because of the journey she represented. They also came to my eyes because of the impact she had on everyone who heard her sing. The audience went crazy. The judges became emotional themselves. Even Simon was overwhelmed. I was touched by the impact that we as people can still have upon one another. Even though we may begin jaded and prejudiced, we can be changed. It just took someone with the guts, the gift, and the grace to make it happen.


This woman's performance has no doubt been seen by millions of people. Perhaps unknowingly, she has moved the world. I wish it happened more often. Maybe I need to encourage it more in others. Maybe I need to make it happen more myself, on purpose.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Help Others, Help Yourself

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection Podcast by The Tappe Group. Whose life has your help changed? What influence have you created in the life of a loved one? Allen gives us suggestions on how helping others helps ourselves.







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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Reinvention

Over ten years ago, Tom Peter's, among others, suggested that in the first 25 years of the 21st century we would see 90% of all white collar American jobs disappear. I remember thinking then that he was probably overstating things a bit. Now, I recognize that if anything it was an understatement. We simply aren't able to be comfortable with skills that created opportunity for us yesterday. We are constantly in need of reinvention.


And yet, that sets up a real challenge. What if we were never really invented to begin with? What if we are actually the invention of someone else? I mean what if we have simply been following old patterns all of our lives. When I was growing up, I wanted to throw the football like Johnny Unitas. I wanted to hit the baseball like Mickey Mantle. I wanted to play tennis like John Newcombe. Do you see a pattern? I didn't mention that when I was really little I wanted to be like Roy Rogers. Now, I am not suggesting that having heroes and role models in life is all wrong. I am just suggesting that it is something that children do and that to continue to model our lives and work after others can become childish. And, in this day and time, it can become dangerous.


I think it is important for us to work at inventing ourselves. This is a great time to make it happen. It doesn't mean you have to change jobs. It just means you choose to change within the job. Invent yourself again for the first time. Become what you know you can become. Make it something remarkable. I hope you take time to listen to the clip I have posted for you this week. I caught a moment with Tom Peters when he was really on target in this very regard. Listen to what he has to say and be inspired to do something.


Reinvention is tough. Because it requires you to let go of someone you may be really fond of in order to go on to become someone you haven't met yet. There is risk involved. What if no one wants your newly invented you? It is possible. However, what you will have gained in the process will make the next version of you incredible. The point is, keep growing. Keep learning. Keep stretching. Keep reaching forward to the next possibility. It really is exciting to think about. Do it on purpose!

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Monday, April 13, 2009

What Questions Are You Asking?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. Do you find yourself talking too much at home or the office? You may not be asking enough questions or any. Questions need to dominate conversations so that you can master the art of communication. Allen suggests 10 questions you should ask that will stimulate your personal and business relationships:

  1. What is your story? (Who are you?)
  2. What is your motivation?
  3. What are you thinking?
  4. How can I help?
  5. What do you need?
  6. What do you want?
  7. How do you feel?
  8. What are your concerns (fears)?
  9. What questions do you have?
  10. Who do you love?

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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Free Compliments?

Maybe you've heard about the two guys at Purdue University who decided to start passing out compliments to their fellow students. A woman was so impressed with what she saw that she and another guy decided to do the same thing. I'm not kidding. Check them out. I made their story available for you. They carried a sign that said "free compliments". And, that was just what they did. They passed out compliments.


I was wondering, however, about compliments being free. I mean I know what they were saying. They didn't want anyone to think they were selling something. The people they were complimenting were, in fact, receiving something of legitimate value. They were genuinely there to give something away. The truth is, however, what they were giving away was not free. It did cost them both something. Time. They had to stop long enough to give and receive a compliment.


It might have been just for a moment. But, just for that moment, connection was made. In order for the compliment to be given and received, time had to be shared. Somehow, I think that may be the stimulus package we are needing. Technology is a wonderful thing. However, we have warned since its inception that technology is an alienating force. I realize we have all kinds of social possibilities because of it today including the very communicator we are connecting with at this moment. Human beings, however, need more. We need connection. We need human interaction. We need to give and receive compliments.


So, while they may not be free, compliments are an unlimited resource. They are readily available for distribution. Choose to make connection this week. It is as easy as passing on a compliment to a stranger who might just be the friend you have yet to meet. Take the time, on purpose. It will be worth it.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Power of Less

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. As your week goes on and you complete tasks, does your life feel complicated? This week Allen spent some time with Leo Babauta's new book The Power of Less. At times the ability to multitask in our world is distracting and keeps us from appreciating the moments. Allen gives seven suggestions on "single tasking" as means for doing more with less.



  1. Relationships: Stay in the moment

  2. Listening: Stay attentive

  3. Consistency: Stay Consistent

  4. Health: Focus and Breathe

  5. Learning: Reading/Thinking

  6. Creativity: In the moment

  7. Spirituality: Prayer

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Easy or Important?

What makes it so difficult to get the important things in life done? It seems like there is always time for the not so important things. It's just the important things that seem tough to make happen. I mean think about it. We don't seem to "prioritize" the not so important things in order to make them happen. It's just the important things we have to put into a different category altogether in order to, what? Get them done? Maybe that's it. Maybe we set ourselves up to not get the important things done by putting too much pressure on the entire situation.

Or, is it because the important things are just harder to do? Are we back to the avoidance thing again? Are we avoiding the "pain" of the more important things we need to get done in our lives?  The less important things are just easier so they seem to sneak into our lives and take a priority presence of their own. Do we just naturally migrate toward the easier things and put off the more difficult?

There is another possibility. Do the more important things carry more "risk", so we are afraid to engage that which we can't control? If we make the call or make the contact and things go wrong or we get rejected, then what? Things can change quickly. There is that "c" word again. So, maybe it is fear. It is just safer to work at getting ready to get ready to do the important things which is a great way to avoid doing them and then wait to be saved by the not so important things.

In short, I'm not sure what it is that keeps us from getting the important things in life done. I just know there is a war on in our lives. It is a war between getting the things done that we need to get done and getting the things done that we want to get done. It is war that rages in both our personal and professional lives. As I am reflecting to you, I have calls that I know need to be made. Why am I not making them and why have I not made them? I need to exercise. Why have I not already gotten it done? Not enought time? That is a lie. I have simply chosen to do other, easier, not so important things.

The bottom line is this. We cannot afford to lose this war. There is too much at stake. Life is too important. If the easy wins over the important, then we ultimately find ourselves in bondage. Bondage can come in health packages, in financial shortages, in relationship miseries, and in spiritual confusion.

The answer is to get the important things done first. It is the easiest way to live. It is the safest way to live. And, ultimately, it is the way to freedom. Save the easiest for last. There will always be time for easy. Do it on purpose!