I'll Do It Later

"I'll do it later" is short for "it probably isn't going to happen". At least that's the way it is at my house. I have two grandchildren who live with us and it's a common refrain when it comes to doing something they really don't want to do. Or, when they are in the midst of doing something they don't particularly want to stop doing. And then, there are those rare situations, I feel sure, when they really intend to get it done but they just forget. Barbara, my sweet wife, is sure that they really intend to do it all of the time but we see the glass from two different perspectives in this case. By the way, I know she is right most of the time but I still hate it.

I hate for people who live or work with me to put off things until later because I know what it means too often. However, I am quickly realizing that my impatience in this matter doesn't really extend to me. I mean I really do work hard at getting the things done, even hard things by most standards. However, I have learned about me that hard things for others are not necessarily hard things for me and vice versa. So, I should find no solace in doing things other people won't get done. Rather, I need to spend some time thinking about things I am putting off. Interestingly enough, I think my reason for not getting things done falls into the same three categories as my grandchildren.

First, there are those things I just don't want to do. I am not going to go public with what those things are but trust me there are too many of them. I don't feel like doing them so I naturally find reasons not to get them done. Then, there is the matter of being too busy to get them done. The first and the second reasons really can support one another. And then, there is the much more honorably sounding "good intentions" reason. It really is easiest to hide behind this one. But, I really hate it when others do it. Come to think about it, I probably hate it in others because of how I feel about it in myself. I really hate it when I psychologize myself.

There is another issue for me at this stage in my life. If I really intend to do something, I better do it when I am thinking about it or chances are better than even that I will forget that I ever thought it. It is that going into a room and forgetting what brought you there thing. It seems to be happening with greater frequency these days.

So, here is the reality. If my life is going to move forward, deeper, or higher, whatever going to the next level really means, then I am going to need to get serious about doing things I know I need to do whether I feel like it or not. I am going to need to stop doing some things in order to start doing other, more important things. And, I need to act on my good intentions while they are part of my conscious mind or they will become part of the volumes of great intentions I have had. Maybe you can relate. If so, make it your new year's resolution. I don't mind if you borrow it. Do well, my friends and have a happy and purposed new year!

How Do You Feel?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. So, how do you feel? How many times have you heard some version of this question in relationship process? Allen shares a few questions with us to help us keep our relationships healthy:

• What do you think?
• How will you respond?
• What will keep you from reacting to how you feel?
• Where will that get you?
• Who are you trying to lead?
• Where will that get you relationally?
• How will that effect you in the long run?

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"The Unexpected"

In a time consumed with confusion and calamity, there is one thing you can depend on in the new year - the unexpected. In the coming year, there will be things that will happen in your life that you will not expect. Think back over the past several years of your life for validation of this prediction. How do you prepare for the unexpected? This question really gives you insight into the focus essential to the response that will be required.

By anticipating the inevitable reality of unexpected challenges, you can recognize three essentials for your focus and attention: motivation, purpose, and security. Each of these dynamics, represent foundational energy for both a purposed and positive performance.

Motivation is "your motive in motion". It is the energy created by your reason "why". No matter what life brings your way, clarity about your reason why is vital. Unexpected hits in life create inevitable confusion. Knowing your reason why will be your center for response.

Purpose is your "expressed distinction". It the passion behind "what" you do. Knowing your purpose and direction in life gives you a filter throug which to see. While there will be things before you that you will not be able to do, you do have a reason for living. Remembering your reason for living will always be the primary focus for your response.

Security is your "confidence in the process". No matter what happens, you are safe. You are able to move without fear in the midst of the unknown. Because you aren't paralyzed by fear, you are able to provide leadership both for yourself and for others.

Because you can anticipate unexpected challenges, you are able to make plans for response. I encourage you to make sure you have clarity about your reason why in life. At the same time, refllect on your purpose for living and establish fresh focus. Finally, make sure you are secured for the journey before you. Each of these areas will challenge you to do some heart work. I pray blessings on your life in 2010. Do well, my friends.

New Starts

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. We are now approaching the end of another year and it is a natural time to think about a new start. New starts require new thinking. Allen shares some thoughts this week on the power to begin.

• Create a "mantra" for your new start.
• Clarify your vision, again.
• Choose the value system you will embrace.
• Challenge yourself with a directional plan.
• Commit to executing your plan with integrity.

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Choices, Choices, Choices

It is clearly the season for making choices. Who gets what gift? How much can we spend? Where will we celebrate Christmas and with whom? And, on, and on, it goes. In reality, choices are with us year round. It starts with big questions like, what time will I face the day? What will I wear? What do I do first? How do I prioritize the day? What, when, and where will I eat? Where will I find a job? Questions are always with us. Having to constantly answer them gets old.

At the same time, having questions to ask and answer represents the reality of living in freedom. There are people in this world who don't have many questions to ask nor do they have the freedom to answer those they have. Eating isn't a matter of where or when, but if. Where do I work or where do I get a job is irrelevant because there is no economy producing the opportunity for answering them. Where do I celebrate Christmas or any holiday representative of faith is not respected.

So, having questions to answer in life is really a good thing. It is kind of like pain. On one hand, you get weary of it. On the other hand, without the reality of it in your life you are probably at risk on some level.

There is one choice we all share as human beings. It is a power that cannot be taken from us. We have the power to choose how we will respond to any life circumstance. Having the power to choose is our birthright. We were endowed with it through the power and love of a Creator. We should never abdicate that power. In fact, it is something we should always celebrate. In reality, Christmas is an explanation and a celebration of that choice we share. It is meant for everyone. Do well, my friends. And, have a merry Christmas!

Moving Forward

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection podcast by The Tappe Group. It seems wise to spend some time planning for the future. So, here are some things you need to plan for as you move forward into your new tomorrow:

• Plan to recognize and quickly remove organizational and performance waste
• Plan to stay out of the bondage of debt
• Plan to build around the most talented and engaged people you can find
• Plan to respond more quickly to the unexpected signals you receive
• Plan to keep learning
• Plan to let go of where you have been
• Plan to stay thankful and humble

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Keeping Perspective

How tough are things, really? I spoke to a good friend this week about the unbelievable economic challenges being faced in her part of the country. The commentary was familiar. She said that many, if not most, of the family businesses in her community had gone out of business and others were on the brink of closing. In the part of the world in which I live, where economically speaking realities are much brighter, businesses are closing and people are losing jobs at an unprecedented rate. Good friends have recently sold their home and have relocated in order to survive financial disaster. Charities are reporting substantial losses in contributions and yet they are receiving an almost overwhelming appeal for help. So, how much more difficult can it get?

I have good friends who help me keep perspective about how challenging life really is. They are in their retirement years. He is blind and she is not able to work any longer. They are the sole caregivers of their granddaughter who is completely disabled and requires 24/7 care. They have some nursing support but it is primarily their life to live. I have another friend who has been the sole caregiver for a wife who has been totally ravaged by the tragedy of Alzheimer's for the past ten years. Having to watch someone you love waste completely away is almost too much to bear. As a nation, we watched as families grieved over the loss of their military family at the hands of a mad man. Safety and security seem to be elusive in even the most protected environment.

The truth is things could always be worse. In fact, there is always someone, somewhere who is suffering in ways that cause our circumstances to pale into insignificance. Somehow, knowing the reality of life around us helps us keep perspective. In fact, when we allow ourselves to become totally focused on how difficult life is then our vision becomes flawed and depression is not far off. And, there is always something, even in the most difficult circumstances, for which to be thankful. Think of the world around you and be thankful for the life you have been given to live. Do well, my friends!

What Adjustments Are You Making?

Welcome to Tappe Talk, a Purposed Connection Podcast by the Tappe Group. Even with a great life plan, adjustments have to be made. Allen shares a few thoughts as you consider your own performance in life and in work:

• Expect to make them
• Prepare to learn
• Respond decisively
• Keep perspective
• Stay committed
• Celebrate Results
• Expect to make them again

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Holiday To or Holiday From?

We are about to wrap up our first of two, back to back, major holiday experiences. Actually, we share in other holidays throughout the year but these two are the biggest and many would say the best. Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. They represent quite a tandem. A blessing for some and a burden for others. For some, it is a welcome escape from a life of work and worry. For others, it is an opportunity to remember, reflect, and recreate. For some, it is a painful experience because of the absence of relationships lost. For others, it is a time of sweet reunion.

So, what do you do? I really believe it is a check up time. There is no doubt that to embrace times of thanksgiving and celebration is healthier than having to endure them. Having people to embrace and having something to celebrate would also seem to be a signal of a life well done. But, what about people who have lost loved ones and what about others who have challenging work lives? What about others who deal with the darkness of holiday depression? I think they are important questions that need to be engaged.

Whatever your life reality is, it is yours to live. Holidays can give you the opportunity to pause and reflect. If you have lost someone you loved, as painful as it is, take time to reflect on the love you shared. Many, if not most, never get to experience intimacy in this life. Celebrating memories is a significant part of life's rhythms. Remembering is vital to living.

If work is challenging or even threatened, then holidays give us the time to breathe and think about our possibilities. We can't change things over which we have no control, however, we always have the power to choose how we will respond. It is not easy. It is not fun. It may seem impossible. It might cause you to seek out counsel or even charity. Which brings us back to the relationship question. What kind of community have you built for yourself?

So, holidays represent a significant dynamic in our lives. Whatever they mean to you, let them work for you. Take time to take your emotional and relational pulse. Seize the opportunity to embrace someone present or the memory of someone past. Don't miss the rhythm. These holidays create music you really need to hear. My prayer is that you will have a healthy and a joy filled holiday season even through tears. Do well, my friends.