Life is difficult and fear is the complicating factor. In fact, it is the limiting factor in all of our lives. It complicates life because it limits the relationships we were meant to know and enjoy. Fear serves to limit us on several levels, however, it does its primary work in the area of intimacy in relationships.
Fear of someone really coming to know us is one of fear's most limiting factors. The best definition I have ever heard for intimacy is "the ability to share our most present fear with absolute confidence". It is our lack of confidence in who we are that serves to defeat us. Because we are insecure in ourselves, we hide from others.
We are afraid to get too close to others because of our fear of losing them. Once again, fear tends to limit the very thing we were meant to enjoy. We stay afraid of losing something we were never meant to own. Relationships are not possessions. They are privilege. They are meant to be a life experience where we can love and be loved.
Fear keeps us afraid of exposing ourselves and all of our weaknesses. We don't want to look, or feel, foolish. In fact, we work overtime to keep from being seen as we are. We disguise ourselves. We wear masks to hide our weakness. We want to avoid being vulnerable at all cost.
We will only come to know true relationship with others when we allow them to know us as we really are. It is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to another person that we begin to know and be known. It is by engaging our fears that we conquer them. The work begins within. We have to find peace. Our identity issues need to be settled. It really is a spiritual matter. Knowing others begins with knowing ourselves. Make peace with self and know peace with others. Do well, my friends.
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