The Symphony of Negotiating

I have recently been creating and teaching some courses on the subject of negotiating. I find it interesting in my work to discover how little is actually taught about the subject to people who spend most of their lives trying to make it happen. I hear a lot of discussion about negotiating as though it is about winning and/or losing. I also hear a very real competitive, if not adversarial, ring to most discussions.

What if negotiating is not about winning or losing? What if it is about mastering the art of creating agreement in life and in work? I really believe at the heartbeat of negotiating is the creation of agreement. So what? Well, it really changes your approach to the subject when you have a better understanding of what really is involved. Instead of being a win/lose issue or trying to get someone to do what you or someone else wants them to do. What if it is, in fact, closer to the reality of conducting a symphony than winning a battle?

So much of the English language has been borrowed in some form from the Greeks. The word for agreement in the Greek is the word "sumpheneo". The Greek word for agreement was then transliterated into our English word "symphony". In reality, creating agreement is all about conducting a symphony. I suggest that negotiating is all about mastering the art of helping people come to harmonious agreement in their lives or in their work.

Creating harmony always requires at least two. It also involves at least two who are looking at the same music yet playing distinctively different parts. They not only have to be aware of one another. They have to listen carefully to one another. They have to respect one another. They really have to come to a shared vision of what is being created even from different perspectives. A conductor is often needed. A person who can help direct and support that process. How many "negotiations" would come to a more successful conclusion if they were approached that way?

So, hear is the thought. Negotiating is really all about living. Most of life is about creating some kind of agreement with others. Both personally and professionally, we are negotiating our way through life. Try approaching it as a creation. Play the role of conductor. Invite others to share the role with you. Get your mind right. See everyday as the opportunity to create something magic. Listen, learn, love, lead. Nice rhythm. Nice sound. Do well, my friends!